dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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