She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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