used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
