i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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