Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
