He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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