I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
