So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
