He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
