we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
