im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
