lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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