Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
