And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Still dying that you shit outside
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
