So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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