dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
