I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
