My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
