How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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