Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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