Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
