Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
