What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize