just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
