she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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