I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
