she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
