remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
