question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
