We need to rekindle our bromance
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize