Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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