party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize
