I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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