The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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