I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
