yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I checked into jail on foursquare
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
did i just pee glitter
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize