went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
