u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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