Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize