Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
