We're like a lot better than the average bears
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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