So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
