i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
