I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize