From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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