Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
The best revenge is premature balding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
