my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
