Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize