So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There r osticjed everywhere
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
