Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
did i walk over a car last night?
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize