thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
