So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
