who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
