There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
