dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
It's rum buckets o'clock
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
