I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
