we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
