Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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