Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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