Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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